I’m tired of trying to be perfect. There, I said it.
I wrote a while back about being a recovering over-scheduler. While I’ve gotten a bit better, it’s still something I struggle with. This week though, I had an epiphany: No one expects perfection except for me.
Let me tell you a story:
This last week was a bit nuts at the Smith house. Scooter was diagnosed with a lifelong condition that requires us to medicate him twice per day. It’s been a bit of an adjustment for us.
On Sunday morning, I was sitting on the floor and holding two syringes of medicine. Meanwhile, Justin was trying to get the cat to comply. I looked at Justin and asked, “Is this what my life has become?” It was a moment, the first of many that day, of existential angst. After five minutes of wrangling, the cat was sufficiently drugged.
From there, I had to go grocery shopping. Not a major thing, mind you, but it had to be done. I had told my brother that I would make him brownies for later that night. I’m a “make snacks from scratch” kind of person. If I’m going to do a thing, I’m doing it the whole way. However, I took a moment to ask myself: What would happen if I used a box mix for the brownies? The answer was absolutely nothing. My brother likes my cooking and, if we’re being honest, I was out of f***s to give. My f*** budget was exhausted. Guess who bought boxed brownie mix? This lady! (SN: It was still full of organic ingredients that I could pronounce.)
It was a small change to my overloaded and somewhat emotionally tough day. I think that we all have those every now and then. I had too many things planned for the day, not enough time to be perfect, and an internal crisis over my lack of perfection.
From here on out, there will be less perfection from me. Done will simply have to be good enough. Or, in the words of my favorite comedian Eddie Izzard, I’ll just have to “scale it down a bit.” I’m not saying that I’ll have zero standards. Quite the opposite, actually. I’ll just focus on doing my best in the context that I find myself in. Sometimes I’ll make brownies from scratch and sometimes the box mix will have to do.
What about you? Are you overbeing perfect too?